I’ve always been THAT friend. The friend you go to when you need something or just need a shoulder or hell anything! Mostly just that person you can talk to if no one else will listen. Helping people I haven’t talk to in years, help ex’s with problems, even sit and listen to the same damn song and dance from people that I barely fucking know.

Its the people I do know that throw there issues at me and I’m just supposed to say what you should have done, they have a light go off and “oh yea you’re right!” Duh… I get sometimes people can’t see simple plans that are right in front of them. That’s fine, but come on. My biggest pain in the ass right now that just keeps kicking me in the teeth like a joy beating or something is the fact that I help and help and help but after that I’m useless, I have no fucking purpose, I don’t exist.

Then when it comes to my problems, oh yea that’s right I have no problems, no one ever sticks around long enough in a conversion to hear them so I must not have any. No one has asked me how I am and fucking meant it. They all get the help they need and the advice to get them through what ever it is they needed to know and POOF! they’re fucking gone. I think if nothing changes over the rest of the year with people, old and new, next year I won’t be that little door mat for people to walk all over and not get any gratification or help for ME, I’m done. 

I’m being selfish and I don’t care who sees it or who knows. No one helps me to better myself, I fucking do it. No one has my back when I need it, so fuck it. I won’t have people around me that don’t want to actually be my friends or aren’t going to be there when I need someone.

That’s enough for now…